Sukoshi Rice
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Control Freak!

1/28/2015

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This morning I went down to my mom's house to take her breakfast or make her breakfast like I do just about every morning since I noticed she was living on tangerines and bananas.  I hadn't slept too well cause she had this thing on her leg that wasn't looking too good and I was freaking out.  I had just run in to her best friend in the supermarket and said, "She's 98!  It's not a little thing on her leg that's going to kill her,"  and then of course I had to run the rolodex of every bad belief I'd been taught about putting things into words.  My nightmare is hospitals and medical interventions, my dream is good health and relative serenity for the rest of her life.  

I got out of bed early and decided to warm up the house by baking.  Sometimes building a fire in the wood stove feels like too much early in the morning, so I turned on the oven and made cornbread and roasted squash and oatcakes.  My oatcakes are what I allow my little Virgo self for treats.  They are sugarless, usually, but really too full of fat to make them healthy, which is how they get so crunchy.  I put (low sugar) Trader Joe's organic apricot jam on some, and took them straight warm from the oven, down to my mom's house.


Where I had to convince her to try them instead of having Milanos for breakfast.  Mint Milanos are great, but I wanted her to eat MY COOKIES!!  I made them just for her and I felt just like when I was 8 and selling Girl Scout cookies.  I wanted my mom to eat MY cookies, and here I still was, wanting her to choose these healthy ones over Milanos!


At first I felt like a weirdo control freak.  Seriously, how bad can it be for a 98 year old to eat Milanos for breakfast if she wants to?  And then I saw this journey I'm on with my mom in the light of the whole lifetime tour we've done so far.  This is our chance to heal  anything that is left, it's our golden opportunity.  Sometimes it feels like anything but.  It does for me, and I'm sure it does for her.  We always butted heads, we were never particularly close or compatible.  She was an ex fashion model wife, I was a hippie horseback riding free spirit.  We never really got a chance to know each other, and now we have it.  I plan to make the most of it.  I'll let you know how it goes.
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    I am a lifelong seeker of connection with the Divine through music, food, art, meditation, healing work, love, travel and people.  My search has taken me around the world to my current home in the mountains of GA.   Everything I do is part of this Divine Life.  On a good day, I am aware of it, and grateful.

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