Lots of people I play music with say they only play for fun, but sometimes that's like saying I only Love in the good times. Sometimes playing music together feels almost as intimate as being in an intimate relationship, without the sex. There are nuances and desires and unexpressed or expressed longings between players.
My wonderful friend Dick Morrill, TAT professional extraordinaire, put it this way: "Playing music is about a lot more than the music. Music is about Love; creating something that gets shared by the players and the listeners. That's why the vibrations get turned into sound waves that we all can hear. Even some deaf people say that they can feel the music."
Singing together, singing harmonies, requires a blending of sound which in turn requires listening to the other person in a deep and focused way. This gives us an opportunity for a profound connection that we can take, or not, as we are led. I am sometimes challenged by the discrepancy between the music we play and the actual energy exchange between us.
Last night I was really sad because my son is leaving for 2 years in Asia (tomorrow). I've been playing music with the same people for five years or so. They knew I was sad because I said so, but nobody said one kind or supportive thing to me. I thought of what I wanted to hear, which was, "Well, Sukoshi, what would you like to play that might make you feel better?" That would have made my night, I would have felt cared for, heard, appreciated, valued, all those things we talk to therapists about. Instead, the only direct comment I got was sarcastic and kind of harsh.
Has playing music become the same as playing video games? How can we share something so beautiful one minute and be so tuned out to each other the next? I never thought about this stuff before I started playing so much music with so many different groups of people, mostly overwhelmingly men. How do I "take care of myself" and still stay open and receptive, in music and in all other relationships?
My wonderful friend Dick Morrill, TAT professional extraordinaire, put it this way: "Playing music is about a lot more than the music. Music is about Love; creating something that gets shared by the players and the listeners. That's why the vibrations get turned into sound waves that we all can hear. Even some deaf people say that they can feel the music."
Singing together, singing harmonies, requires a blending of sound which in turn requires listening to the other person in a deep and focused way. This gives us an opportunity for a profound connection that we can take, or not, as we are led. I am sometimes challenged by the discrepancy between the music we play and the actual energy exchange between us.
Last night I was really sad because my son is leaving for 2 years in Asia (tomorrow). I've been playing music with the same people for five years or so. They knew I was sad because I said so, but nobody said one kind or supportive thing to me. I thought of what I wanted to hear, which was, "Well, Sukoshi, what would you like to play that might make you feel better?" That would have made my night, I would have felt cared for, heard, appreciated, valued, all those things we talk to therapists about. Instead, the only direct comment I got was sarcastic and kind of harsh.
Has playing music become the same as playing video games? How can we share something so beautiful one minute and be so tuned out to each other the next? I never thought about this stuff before I started playing so much music with so many different groups of people, mostly overwhelmingly men. How do I "take care of myself" and still stay open and receptive, in music and in all other relationships?
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