Sukoshi Rice
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Relationships

3/30/2013

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As my current relationship winds down to a close, much to the delight of my friends who have witnessed it, I am reminded this morning of something a woman told me years ago.  She was a big time high achiever in the corporate world, and her new husband was too.  They were fairly recently married and she confided to me her secret for picking a husband:  she asked herself if her current man was someone she would want to have a child with.  If the answer was No, she ended the relationship.  Her thought was that if he wasn't good enough for a baby, why was he good enough for her?
I hope she doesn't mind, wherever she is, in the highly unlikely event that she reads this, that I used her story, but it seems relevant to my trying to get this piece of the puzzle on relationships, something I have tussled with for the last 50 years or so.  Co dependence was my middle name, and I saw the best in the oddest men while ending relationships with really great, generous loving ones.  What was I trying to heal?  Or express?
I still don't know, I think I'll take the dogs and go for a walk, or go do TAT, or something, because after 50 years, I still have yet to figure this one out. 
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    I am a lifelong seeker of connection with the Divine through music, food, art, meditation, healing work, love, travel and people.  My search has taken me around the world to my current home in the mountains of GA.   Everything I do is part of this Divine Life.  On a good day, I am aware of it, and grateful.

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